The Glorious Eighteenth!

Now let us gather around and spend a moment in silent contemplation... WEY-HAY! Come to mamma! Or rather, don't come to mamma, instead board that bright, beautiful, yellow deliverance that is your bus and don't darken this door until ten past four! The Glorious 18th has arrived! Take the safety off your double-barrelled party-poppers!

As you have probably gathered, here at Flyte-Tipping we are DISTRAUGHT that the children have returned to school. They've been packed off with their carcinogenic ham sandwiches, their epilepsy-inducing soft drink, and their saturated-with-heart-failure chocolate biscuits. If the experts are right they'll never make it home, but my children are nothing if not stubborn.

Just how on earth am I going to cope without the constant interruptions to hold aloft a red or yellow card? Will I remember how to negotiate a house where everything, including the furniture, will freakishly remain in position for, yes, THE ENTIRE DAY?! Well, a good place to start is with the kettle and a packet of Fox's Party Rings that I've kept squirrelled away until the time came when I wouldn't have to share them. That time is now, my friends, that time is now.

There is a buzz of excitement around the office of Flyte-Tipping this morning that has nothing to do with absent children. Word has reached us that the AGM of a local am-dram group is being held this very evening in a pub nearby. Flyte-Tipping is intrigued and not a little impressed with the seriousness at which local am-dram go about their am-drammy business. An AGM? For bad acting? With nominating, seconding, treasurers and secretaries and everything? But more excitingly, in a pub? Donald Trump take note, this is how to get things done. Bin the flashy boardroom with the obligatory high-gloss table, and get down with a beer mat and a packet of pork scratchings. Flyte-Tipping would even send someone to take the minutes gratis, that's how much we believe in this new way to do business.


Our Man In The Know hints that mutiny could be afoot at the Black Bull tonight as competing factions vie for supremacy. There are rumours of a coup and whether this will be bloodless remains to be seen. Actors are a passionate lot; Flyte-Tipping is running a book on the likelihood of someone biting down on a blood capsule before staggering around the room and collapsing then getting up and falling down again.

Sleep easy, dear Blog-Reader. We will keep you posted.