The Professional Amateur?

Flyte-Tipping has been reliably informed that second-week rehearsals for Keith Waterhouse's 'Celebration' by The Duns Players show some worrying signs:

1. There is almost a full cast.  In the world of am-dram, this state of affairs is as unlikely as Richard Hammond's hair.  Only two characters remain uncast and Flyte-Tipping understands that the director plans to poach actors from another society's production of Cinderella.  We're not entirely sure how he's going to achieve this without first getting his hands on quantities of Rohypnol and WKD just not readily available at The Co-Op (which in any event could leave The Duns Players facing repercussions ranging from an outright declaration of am-dram war, to vague post-performance feelings of dirtiness).
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. There is a rehearsal schedule — repeat — schedule.  It seems that turning up is no longer good enough, you now have to turn up knowing, bizarrely, what page of the script you're on.  A couple of die-hard seat-of-your-panters feel this to be a step too far along the professional road.   Flyte-Tipping's only concern is that such professionalism misses the point of am-dram — a bit like safe sex and going on the game.
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. A member of the cast is a paid actor.  Seriously.  He gets paid for acting.  As in a living.  A career.  Yet, here he is, walking beatifically amongst The Duns Players like Gok Wan through British Home Stores.  In this week's rehearsal he managed to elevate the character of Stan, a lad with learning difficulties, to Daniel Day-Lewis's portrayal of Christy Brown.  Laudably inspirational, this has spurred on the rest of the cast to find new and inventive ways to give their character some sort of oscar-winning congenital disadvantage. 

Next week The Dun's Players move to rehearsing TWICE a week.  Normally news such as this would set our hearts a-thrilling, our mouths flooding in anticipatory pleasure.  Now we're not so sure.  The whole point of am-dram — surely? — is that it's crap;  well-crafted, well-rehearsed and well-meaning, but essentially crap all the same.

All this recent professionalism... I mean, who would want to go and watch it?